I stopped looking for a dream girl , I just wanted one that wasn’t a nightmare. I found ******** , I loved you like a man loves a woman he never touches, only writes to, keeps little photographs of, I wanted her but I knew it would ruin her, And I think she would ruin me and take away my cold , and I couldn’t think of anything more beautiful. doing a dull thing with style is what I would call art, to love a woman who will not have you is the same thing. You really don’t know what love is until you are with someone who makes you hate yourself, who makes you want to change your atomic structure. Wanting her so badly that I didn’t want her at all, I wanted to erase wanting, erase myself. When I left New York, I didn’t just miss her, I missed the person I was when I was with her and the shape of her in the room , she would love this hotel.